Personality Development

Talking to students in the pre-teen age group I asked them what the term personality meant to them. Some of the answers which emerged were:
• Respecting elders
• Being kind
• Being well mannered
• Being neat and clean
• Being helpful
• Attitude
• Self-confidence
I elaborated that the overall personality included one’s outward appearance and attitude as well as one’s inner attributes and abilities which constitute one’s character.
To have a well-rounded personality, one must work towards possessing these qualities. Good manners and grooming can be acquired by observing these qualities in others and making a concerted effort to inculcate them.
Character building, however, requiredgreater discipline and sense of purpose. To be kind, helpful and considerate of others, one must truly feel these qualities. This is best done by following the simple rule of putting oneself in the other’s position. It is not achieved over night. But each effort that is made helps to overcome any hesitation or selfishness that may exist and one automatically learns to be mindful of the others. This eventually gets reflected in one’s behaviour and personality.
Explaining the meaning of chivalry and its role in the development of one’s character and personality, I asked the students to begin now, by practising to acquire these qualities. How nice if boys offered their seats in the bus to girls or older women. How nice if all students, helped the elderly or disabled to cross a busy street or help to carry their baggage when doing so. How nice if one offered to help parents with simple daily chores when one is not engaged in studies or other duties.
A good personality also meant conquering baser feelings like anger which could result in the usage of unsavoury language. We discussed the need to think before reacting to what others may say. Caution will help us exercise greater control on the choice of words and this alone can make a big difference to the outcome in any given situation. Civilised thought, speech and behaviour are crucial aspects of a pleasing personality.
Self-confidence comes from knowledge. Knowledge that one is correct, knowledge that one is truthful, knowledge that one is upright, knowledge that one is prepared and doing one’s best. Hence, to acquire this trait one must put in every effort to learn as much as one can and be accomplished in everything that one endeavours to do. The sense of achievement one thus experiences, translates into self-confidence.
It is important to identify role models in one’s community and seek opportunities to interact with them as this can be a crucial motivating factor to inspire an individual to excel. I asked the students to try and identify the role models in their neighbourhood and ask them the secret of their success. While one may not realise the importance of such meetings at this stage in life, often a view point expressed or thoughts shared at such encounters can have a lasting impression on a young mind and help a person to learn to convert dreams into reality.

Dr.ShakuntalaDawesar

11th February 2013