Dr Jitender Nagpal and the Life Skills Team
The Management and Teachers of The Indian School
My thoughts today are expressed as a parent and as a part of The Indian School Family, as I like to call it.
From the moment a child is born, every parent aspires to be THE best parent and give THE best to the child. However as time passes by, some parents lose focus and get involved with the more (inevitable) materialistic aspects of life, and some parents just try so hard that they fail miserably and lose their child to over-possessiveness and the effects of peer pressure.
How easy or difficult can it be to strike the right balance at parenting?
In my definition, striking the right balance is not defined by realizing my unfulfilled dreams through my child, or by trying to ensure that my child scores at least 5 marks more than my friends’ – but rather by ensuring that he grows up to be an independent, responsible and fun-loving adult with strong moral values. I would place the strength of a personality much before an A+ report card. I questioned myself often if I had my priorities right.
My son, Gaurav, began shy and did not display drive for excellence in academics, not that the grades ever bothered me. Though we struggled in our own little way to achieve the best we could in class, I was always more concerned about his all-round development. A mothers’ sixth sense kept nagging me that there was some barrier stopping him from recognizing his abilities but I just could not hit the nail on the head. He would completely shut down at the very suggestion of going on stage to recite even two linesof a poem and his friendship was limited to one friend who was with him since pre- nursery. Attending birthday parties as a toddler was more of a torture for him.
As he entered Class 10, my son was suggested to be a part of the Life Skills and Well-being Program (2011-2012) from The Indian School. It was initially more than enough for me that he volunteered to be a part of a workshop associated with Dr Jitender Nagpal and here I would give a 100% to Mrs Tania Joshi (Vice-Principal) who had the fore-sight to recognize that there is much more behind this boy cocooned in his little world.
After a few Life-Skills workshops and under the able guidance of our school counselor, Ms Sukhmeen Cheema, I saw a very different person emerging – Gaurav started showing leadership qualities, his confidence levels and communication skills were soaring, he was willing to experiment, he learnt how to focus and most surprising of all came the following two revelations :-
First, that he wanted to now opt for the science stream, knowing very well how taxing it could be for a child with his history of grades and more so because of his attitude of being satisfied with much less than his potential. However, I made it very clear to him that I would support him equally even if he chose arts or commerce.
Secondly that he wanted to play the guitar. We belong to a non-musical family and this truly made my heart skip a beat. We were struggling to be social and uplift our gradesand now where was the time for a musical instrument? I was very skeptical about both his new desires but I chose to have faith in him go with the flow. He claimed he had learnt TIME MANAGEMENT.
I must also bring one very important thing to your notice – at one point, he made it very clear that if for any reason he does not do well in Science in class 11, he had no inhibitions in repeating class 11 to ensure that his foundation was well grounded. I saw this as a clear sign that my boy was NOW not going to be happy with a “just pass”. Also, I realized that now I was talking to a boy who had no inhibitions/complexes about what his friends thought of him – he was focussed, had an aim and a goal – to enter the aviation industry.
As he attended more Life Skills workshops, he made more friends, became more expressive in his speech, his teachers had the faith to give him more responsibility and he fulfilled each one wholeheartedly. He seemed to be in control of his life. A new and improved Gaurav was emerging..!
In fact, I saw him on stage several times – One of them being the proudest moments of my life when he was given the badge and certificate for the “Life skills and wellness” captain. Today he has sailed through class 11 (science), he is part of the school band as a guitarist, and below I duplicate a small part of his self-assessment in his own words:-
“I really want to get good marks so that I can get a good job. Moreover, I think now that I have learnt to put in more hours of self-study, my concentration level has increased”
Two years ago, if I asked him to describe himself, I would have got 1-2 half hearted sentences or may even words – and today I could not have asked for a better interpretation.
For those who have been kind and patient enough to read this, I would like to say that this is not about my son or my efforts, or my ability to support my child. It’s about a journey of a parent having unconditional faith in a child, his school, and the endowment to look beyond education. My heartfelt gratitude to The Indian School, Dr Jitendra Nagpal, his team of counsellors and CBSE initiative for making a huge difference in our lives…!
Sangeeta Aswani
VP (PTA) & mother of Gaurav Aswani
The Indian School
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