The recent death of a young girl in Kerala, who followed a strict diet of only water in pursuit of an idealised body, brings to the forefront the dire consequences of unattainable beauty standards. In a world where the pressure to look a certain way is relentless and consuming, her tragic passing serves as a chilling reminder of how the quest for perfection can have fatal consequences. Her story is not isolated, but rather part of a larger narrative about the relationship we share with our bodies, one that is fraught with complexity and urgency.
We are living in a time where body positivity and neutrality have found their place in the mainstream, challenging the traditional beauty standards that once dominated our lives. It is a world that champions authenticity and encourages people to accept their bodies as they are. We have worked tirelessly to redefine beauty, to make it more inclusive and less rigid, and yet, there still exists a quiet, insidious pressure. As we embrace the notion that we don't have to fit into a mold, we find ourselves wrestling with new expectations — the idea that we must reject all forms of adornment and self-expression to prove our authenticity. Fashion, makeup, and dressing up, once seen as tools of personal empowerment, are now sometimes viewed as superficial, a symptom of insecurity, or an escape from the self. This tension is felt most acutely by our generation, one that is politically aware, woke, and yet increasingly self-conscious.
But the dichotomy between rejecting superficiality and embracing self-expression isn't as clear-cut as it might seem. From my personal experiences and the stories shared by others, I've noticed a delicate and important distinction. For some, fashion and beauty become a shield to hide a sense of inadequacy or a desperate need for acceptance. These are the stories we hear too often, of people contorting themselves physically and emotionally to meet external standards, sometimes to the detriment of their own well-being. Take, for instance, my dear friend who once sought to enter the Bollywood industry, ultimately reducing her fat deposits surgically to fit the mould. Her story is one of many, where societal pressures push individuals to such extreme lengths that they forget who they truly are and what they truly need.
On the other hand, there are those who use fashion, makeup, and self-expression as tools of empowerment, not to hide, but to reveal. One dear friend comes to mind, a woman who turned to modelling despite the resistance of her family. Her journey wasn’t about succumbing to societal pressures or bending to tradition. It was about reclaiming her narrative and using the colours, textures, and lines of fashion to express her inner strength. For her, makeup and clothes weren’t tools to fit into a mould; they were a way of marking her own identity, of embracing her own power, even in the face of resistance. It was not about societal norms or rejection but about the boldness of her choices and their personal meaning. It wasn’t about covering up insecurity but about transforming it into something tangible, something that empowered her.
What these stories reveal is that the relationship we have with our appearance and self-expression is nuanced. It’s not simply about rejecting or embracing one thing over the other. It's about how we navigate the space between self-love, societal pressures, and personal expression. It’s about the choices we make when no one is watching, when we’re not trying to fit in or stand out, but simply to be ourselves. And that journey is different for everyone.
It’s not just women who face these struggles. Men, too, find themselves at the crossroads of body image, self-esteem, and societal expectations. I’ve worked with young boys, like one who began working out not for health but to feel more desirable, more masculine. Their stories are too often left untold in the conversation about body image, but they are just as crucial to the narrative.
Even within marginalized communities, such as queer students, the pressure to fit in or hide aspects of their identity remains pervasive. I recall the story of one student who wore nail polish outside of school as a sign of self-acceptance, but had to hide it within the confines of a space that didn’t yet offer full acceptance. The delicate negotiation of identity and self-expression is a universal experience, one that transcends gender and sexual orientation. It is a struggle that we all must face, whether we realize it or not.
The question then becomes: How do we, as a society, support the growing adolescent in their journey of self-discovery, particularly when it comes to body image and self-expression? While the curriculum might not explicitly address these issues, we, as educators, parents, and mentors, have a responsibility to provide the space for these conversations to unfold. The task of attunement – of listening and guiding with empathy – is one that extends beyond therapy and counselling rooms. It is something that we, as a collective, must embrace. Adolescence is a time of transformation, where self-expression becomes both a rebellion and a discovery. Fashion, makeup, food choices, and the exploration of identity are not just about superficiality; they are ways of negotiating the complexities of who we are in a world that demands constant reinvention.
But we must tread carefully. When left unstructured, without the proper guidance or conversation, these experiments can quickly become problematic. Distorted body image, extreme dieting, eating disorders – all of these are real risks when we fail to provide the proper space for reflection. We must ensure that our young people are not only aware of the pressures they face but are also equipped with the emotional literacy to navigate them.
And so, we return to the story of the young girl in Kerala, whose life was tragically cut short in pursuit of an idealized body. Her death, like so many others, speaks to the dangers of an unattainable dream, a dream that often overlooks the very real consequences of body image obsession. It is a reminder that the work we do — the conversations we have, the spaces we create for self-expression and self-love — is not just about aesthetics. It is about life. It is about the fragile, transformative, and incredibly personal relationship we all have with our bodies and our identities.
As we move forward in a world that celebrates both authenticity and self-expression, we must remember that the work of body positivity and self-acceptance is not just about changing what we see in the mirror. It is about changing the conversations we have, the attitudes we hold, and the spaces we create for ourselves and for others to be fully, unapologetically human. The task is immense, but the potential it holds for healing and transformation is limitless. Let us continue to work toward a world where every individual, regardless of shape, size, or identity, can be seen, heard, and loved as they are.
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